I went to the dentist this afternoon, and they did some uncomfortable things as part of creating a new/replacement crown for one of my teeth (which had cavities under the old crown). I currently have a temporary crown, and will be getting the permanent replacement in three weeks; it will be ready sooner, but that's the next available appointment.

I was pleased to see that my Lyft driver, the dentist, and the dental assistant were all masked when I first saw them. I told the driver it was nice to see other people masking, and I tipped extra because of it.

When I checked in, the receptionist told me there would be a $750 copay. I told her that I had been told that the crown was fully covered, and asked her to check. A few minutes later, she confirmed that I wouldn't have to pay anything. I do not understand dental insurance, including this dental insurance, which is an add-on to my Medicare Advantage plan; I would have paid the $750 if I had to, but I'm glad I don't.

I'd been planning to stop and visit some lilac bushes on the way home, but it was raining, which made that less appealing, so I didn't. I did stop at Lizzy's on the way home, and now have a total of five unlabeled pints of ice cream: three today, because a broken freezer meant I had to get the clerk to hand-scoop the ice cream, plus the two from Tosci's. However, I have blank sticky adhesive labels, which should make this easy.

I saw Carmen (my PCP) this afternoon, in person. I couldn't remember why we'd scheduled this in person, but assumed we had a reason at the time, but when I asked, Carmen didn't know either.

She wrote the next Ritalin prescription; listened to my heart and lungs as long as I was there; and had me provide a urine sample for a once-a-year toxicology screening. In theory, that screening is to make sure that the patient is actually taking rather than selling their Schedule II drugs. The thing is, the standard/required test panel is for about a dozen things, not including Ritalin. There is a test for that, which she didn't order because the sample would have to go to a different lab, and she trusts that I'm taking the medication as prescribed.

I'm also supposed to schedule a mammogram.

It's a nice day, so I went to Tosci's afterwards, and now have a pint each of sweet cream and lime vanilla ice cream.

The timing of spring is being weird in the Boston area. The lilies of the valley have started to bloom, while some of the forsythia bushes still have a lot of bright yellow flowers.

We still have daffodils, the rhododendrons are being exuberant, and the violets have been looking good for a week or two.

I will look for lilacs sometime in the next few days. The most convenient would be to see what's in bloom along and near Mount Auburn Street near Ash Street, on my way home from the dentist on Wednesday. (I'm also considering a side trip to Sophia's Greek Pantry for good oregano, but stopping at Sevan Bakery or Arax would be more convenient.)

I love making up my own music and have since I was in high school.  I suck at writing stuff down, but I try to build out a basic structure from what i was improvising.  Sometimes it would coalesce and a piece that I could play or sing would come into being.  I did a lot of that through high school and university, but I was also playing a lot more then.  Pretty much every day and picking up new sheet music to learn as well.

I don't play every day anymore and I know perfectly well when the last time was that I picked up a new piece of music because it was a duet C wanted me to learn with him.  So, that was more than a decade ago.  I play a very limited set of my own stuff when I do sit down and one or two of a handful of personal favourites I learned back then.

I rarely sing anymore.  And somewhere on this path, I stopped writing things to sing.  Or rather, I needed to level up what I was doing with my writing and stumbled when trying to get there.  That aspect of my voice* I learned to distrust as it's effectively in a rut.  These days, I probably write about one song a year, but sometimes you end up skipping a year.  Or the thing you write doesn't stick, so it fades.  That feels normal to me.  Even back in high school, there would be pieces that sounded fine, but I just wouldn't go back to them.  Without repetition, the muscle memory and the music go away.

But for some reason the last year and a bit has had more new music in it.  Back in January 2025, I banged out something would probably have annoyed my mother when I was a kid and just hitting the keys in the same order repeatedly.  But it gradually changed into something that I don't mind.  I have a recording of it part way through the process that still has things I've forgotten how I played that I should pull back into it.  And then in September, I started something else, although honestly I think it sounds like a riff on a part of Max Richter's Sleep.  Both of these are...ok.  There's things I like about them.  So far, they're sticking to me.  But right now they don't engage me as much.  We'll see.  This phase sometimes results in variations that will be better or an insight into what drew me in the first place.

I also don't name things much anymore.  In my head that first piece is just (and you have to imagine this as both a physical sensation of playing it and the sound of it) "Cm Abmaj7".  Because that's how it starts.  And I know I'm not writing this to sing, but the process of writing something to sing is still in me, so.  The one thing I really like about the structure here is that the piece starts with the chorus and ends with the last verse after skipping a repetition of the bridge on the third round.  I think there are some cool lyrical things that could be done with that.  You could really nail a particular theme or phrasing if it were done carefully.

The second piece (again the physical sensation and the sound) is "Em pulse".  The left hand is just chord modulation in 3/4 playing the first two beats, but not the third.  And slowish.  It should probably be much slower than I'm currently playing it, but I'm trying to avoid Sleep.  The right hand leans into playing in the spaces this creates and a slight syncopation.  I'm avoiding certain resolutions in the chord progressions, but this leaves room for the right hand to pass through those and the ear to hear them.  It's not novel.  Richter uses a similar approach on some parts of his piece and it's not original to him either.  The melodic line is sort of settling, but I'm not sure it's doing what it needs to.

And then I plinked some little thing back on Mar 14 that starts out with a kind of Dsus/F# bass thing and goes into a nice syncopated 4/4 beat. Vanilla Dsus, Em, Cmaj7, G, Am7. And then I twisted it a bit to go Amaj instead, then Amaj/B, C9, D, Em, which sounded nice, but doesn't arrive at a place where I can circle around to repeat the motif, or find a motif really. Twisted it a little more so that bit moved Amaj, Amaj/B, C9, D, Emaj, Emaj/A, Emaj/B, C9, D, Em. Still didn't feel like it could repeat, though. But I sat down today and moved from that Em to Cmaj7, D, Am9, Em/B, C9, D, Em. That small repetition, largely done with 4ths and 5ths, not full chords, sets up a sort of colour where the motif can go back to the beginning. I dunno, it's ok. Needs a tad more structure, possibly a variation from rhythm piano to something melodic or a rhythm change or who knows.

For now, there's that pleasure in having something the ear and heart call out for that's not known yet and open to possibility. Have to hold onto that feeling as long as possible.

* I'm using voice here to mean what makes a song or a lyric sound like I'm the one who wrote it.

This month features Trieste, Venice, Durham, and ice cream, as well as the usual dosages of children and cats.

On another note, I have just sent an e-mail to the wrong person with the same name *three* times. I think I need to step away from the keyboard for a bit.

I was wearing my wellingtons to garden* in. Should've worn my hiking boots.
Ouch.

*For values of "garden" that include pulling out many brambles--and not much else.