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posted by [personal profile] purplecthulhu at 10:35pm on 03/03/2005
Under the new regime of [livejournal.com profile] drplokta I have been appointed minion i/c Canada, and its high time I made some edicts to benefit my new domain. So here are a few...

We'll start with the easy ones, which are more of a nudge of the elbow of parliament in directions they know they want to go...

1. Discrimination against gay couples, preventing them from marrying, will not be allowed.

2. Personal use of marijuana will be decriminalised.

3. Launching of anti-missile-missiles over Canadian terriotry without express permission will not be tolerated.

4. Said permission will not be given.

Though I expect minion i/c USA will sort this problem out very soon after they're appointed.

And while we're about it:

5. Sewage floods of basements will not happen. At all. Ever.

These are the first edicts of the new minion i/c Canada.

I may be recruiting subminions in the near future if our great leader [personal profile] drplokta decides this is a good idea. Portfolios will then become available across the provinces. You have been warned.
There are 7 comments on this entry. (Reply.)
 
posted by [identity profile] purpletigron.livejournal.com at 07:51am on 04/03/2005
I don't suppose you'll give up Alberta, but perhaps I can apply for BC? And Ontario?
 
posted by [identity profile] sammywol.livejournal.com at 11:20am on 04/03/2005
Is the penalty for transgression of number 5. having sewage flood your basement? Have a happy minionhood!
 
posted by [identity profile] purplecthulhu.livejournal.com at 01:58pm on 04/03/2005
No - but it might involve sewage floods in the basements of people running water companies...
 
posted by [identity profile] handslive.livejournal.com at 01:53pm on 04/03/2005
What!? No edicts with regard to disputes over international waters? But the CIA World Fact Book always mentions Canada's disputes with its neighbours over incursions into its waters!
 
posted by [identity profile] purplecthulhu.livejournal.com at 02:00pm on 04/03/2005
A new edict!

Shoggoths will enforce the security of Canada's international waters forthwith! The penalty for incursions into Canadian waters will be being eaten.

I am grateful to the candidate sub-minion i/c Martial Arts for bringing this matter to my attention.
 
posted by [identity profile] handslive.livejournal.com at 11:50pm on 05/03/2005
Now I'm thinking of something that would fit will in a Stross story involving Shoggoths. There's an improvement in your defense budget!
 
posted by [identity profile] greenjavatroll.livejournal.com at 05:16pm on 04/03/2005
Hey! What about edicts regarding softwood lumber trade infringements and unkindness to cows?

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